Approaching women is difficult. Most guys I know would almost rather run naked in front of a stadium full of Promise Keepers than approach a beautiful woman cold and start a conversation with her. If you have trouble walking up to women - or have any kind of hesitation at all - it will help you to master the secret power of dissociation.

Normally, when you get that feeling of fear and hesitation, emotionally detaching yourself from the moment is all but impossible no matter how hard you try. That's because using sheer willpower to consciously banish your fear and hesitation doesn't work. Your willpower is no match for your unconscious mind's program of fear and hesitation - fear and hesitation that you've probably practiced for years.

Sheer willpower won't work. Instead, you can "trick" your unconscious mind into helping you and "install" better programming of relaxed, playful confidence.

The next time you find yourself hesitating to approach a beautiful woman that knocks your socks off, STOP. Take a breath and allow a wave of relaxation to move through your body. Next, imagine stepping outside of your own body and looking at the situation from a third-person perspective. Imagine seeing yourself standing there, her, and the rest of the environment around you.

From this third-person perspective you'll find yourself relaxed and objective. And you won't feel as if you're doing an approach anymore. Rather, you'll have the unusual but calming feeling that you're just WATCHING an approach, like watching a movie. You've dissociated yourself from all the unhelpful feelings and thoughts.

Now imagine watching yourself walking up to the beautiful woman. Watch yourself as someone who is friendly, playful, relaxed, and curious about her and say to her, "Excuse me... I just noticed something interesting about you..." Imagine her smiling back and responding to whatever you say with curiosity.

When you dissociate and watch the events from a third-person perspective like this, you're hypnotically practicing success. You're programming your unconscious mind with new experiences and beliefs of relaxed confidence.

If she walks away before you have a chance to actually approach, don't worry about it. Do NOT put extra pressure on yourself. Relax, dissociate, and relax. This is called practicing. There will always be more women.

With enough practice through dissociation, your willpower will naturally become congruent your new programming and you'll no longer have to do the exercise. You'll simply be able to approach women easily and at will.

The first date: what to wear, where to go, what to say, what to do and what not to do. All this pressure to make a good first impression can be daunting. After all, you know practically nothing about each other and the whole point of a first date is to judge (as much as we don’t like to admit it) whether or not we think we’d like to get to know each other better. But first dates don’t have to be elaborate or fancy in order for you to secure that coveted second or third date. There are some things you will want to do and others you will want to avoid on a first date to ensure its success and the possibility of future dates as well.

When it comes to dating, it seems everyone thinks they’re the expert to turn to for advice. Whether it’s your friends or your lovable aunts who constantly inquire about your love life, everyone has a dating tip for you. But we all know what to do on a date, don’t we? Always have a smile, listen attentively, be yourself, have fun, and the list goes on. So, if everyone knows the tips for successful dating, then why do we go through so much trouble and anxiety about first dates? Maybe it’s because there is no set standard of rules anymore.

Once upon a time, chivalry was the norm. Nowadays, some women get offended when the door is held open or their seat is pulled out for them. Consequently, many single people are at a loss when it comes to knowing what to do and when to do it. And while there may not be an ultimate list of shoulds and should nots, there are still some common dating tips that everyone can agree on.

It is important to be attentive to your date and this includes listening to what they are saying (and maybe throwing in a question or two) and maintaining eye contact when in a conversation.
There is nothing worse than meeting your date and not knowing what you’re going to do. If you have something planned ahead of time, it shows you put some thought into it.

If you go out for dinner, why not split the bill? Sure, you were invited out and your date is expected to pay but offer anyway. And if
your date picks up the tab, offer to pay the next time.
By all means, call your date if you say you’re going to call!
If you didn’t have a good time then be courteous, and don’t promise to get in touch when you really have no intention of doing so.
Be polite; turn off your cell phone and stop the wandering eyes. There is nothing ruder than taking a casual call from a friend or ogling the waitress at the next table while your date is attempting to hold your attention.
While talking about past relationships almost always comes up in conversation, don’t start telling your date every last detail;
they are not your therapist!
And believe me, chivalry is not dead; women do appreciate it, just don’t overdo it boys.
In this world of women’s independence, many are taking it upon themselves to ask the man out. And why not?! It shows confidence and is a turn-on for many men. Keep in mind though, confidence is sexy, arrogance is a turn off.

Many people will have a different answer when you ask them their opinion on whether or not a kiss is acceptable on the first date. Maybe all you want to do is hold hands or snuggle and save the kiss for another date. It all depends on the chemistry between you and whether or not it feels right. And if it does, then go for it. Of course, if the date isn’t going well, feel free to end the date early with everyone’s favorite backup “emergency” phone call from a friend. Chances are if you’re not having a good time, neither is your date!

Hopefully, this has broadened your outlook on the world of “first dates”. The whole point of a first date is to figure out if you want to get to know the person better. Remember, when it comes to dating and tips, just follow your instinct and no matter the outcome, have fun, enjoy yourself, and relax.


About the Author: Marisa Pellegrino is freelance journalist and a writer for a Montreal radio show called Passion, a program about dating, relationships, and sex. She is also the writer/webmaster for Dating Ideas (www.dating-idea.com) a website with advice about dating and relationships.

Choose somewhere easy
Avoid crowded places on your first date so you can spot each other easily. Maybe wear something distinctive, although you'll probably want to avoid the carnations or silly hats.

Tell a friend
Always tell a friend where you are going, and meet somewhere public for your first date. It's also best to make your own way to and from the venue - don't get your date to pick you up. After your first meeting, if you don't feel comfortable, don't continue the relationship. Simple as that.

Don't break the bank
You don't have to flash your cash on a first date, so why not meet for a coffee or lunch? You can then decide if you'd like to spend more time and money on another date.

Go dutch
It's sometimes a good idea to agree to split the bill before your date, so you'll avoid any awkward situations when the plates have been cleared.

Be considerate
If you need to cancel a date, call the other person in good time.

Don't get disheartened
You might not meet the right person straight away - don't be disappointed. Relax, be yourself and most importantly, have fun. Every week we attract new advertisers and respondents.

Make it safe
Arrange meetings in public places, eg restaurants, pubs, etc, not in your home. Don't give your address until you are sure that you want to continue the relationship. Trust your instincts and don't meet again if you have any doubts. On your first meeting, it is best to make your own way to and from the venue. It is best not to accept an offer of transport. Leave details of your meeting with family or friends when seeing a respondent for the first time.These points may seem over-cautious, but if the person you meet is genuine, they will understand.